Lets face it, there are a lot of struggles that a real for mums. Especially toddler mums who are chasing around a completely irrational little human who has the same balance and coordination as the drunk bum swaying around outside the local pub.
However, these 4 struggles are ones that I find particularly difficult to master.
Responding to Text Messages Telepathically
If you’re interested in a response from me, you should probably call me on the phone. Don’t get me wrong, I often look at my phone during the day, read your messages and respond to them, but said response is typically telepathic and never makes it from my brain onto WhatsApp.
Sure, I could open the phone and type my response to you, but that would bring on a 20 minute power-struggle with the tiny dictator that lives in my home. It would almost certainly end with my defeat, which means my phone would either be: 1. Locked for the next 30 minutes due to so many incorrect password attempts or 2. Shattered
Dinner has got to be the absolute worst part of any toddler mum’s day. That previously pleasant end to the day is made even worse when you make any kind of effort to cook your toddler something they like(d – yesterday and every day before that) and they throw it on the floor and scream.
Our dinner struggle centers around spoons and Hazel’s inability to use them. I’m never sure whether she is going to use the spoon to put the food in her mouth or fling it away in disgust. I can tell you from experience that nothing stings more than lovingly crafted fish pie after it’s been launched into your eye.
It is still an incredible wonder to me that humans have been able to make it this far. Not only are human newborns the absolute most helpless beings on the planet, but toddlers, though more robust, are constantly trying to off themselves.
What’s that? A fire? I shall put my head in to test the temperature.
Plugs are dangerous you say? I’ll be checking that theory by fingering every single one in the house.
Watch where I’m going? No thanks.
Keeping It Together
There was a time when people came to my home and overlooked the piles of laundry, my homeless-like appearance and our barren fridge. That was back in the days when Hazel was a newborn and things were “hard.” Now, when people come to our house and Hazel is running around naked waving two limes around above her head (this morning) and we have absolutely no idea where the dog has gone (looking for a new family I expect) they start to talk.
When you get out of the newborn phase, people expect you to get your shit together. The trouble is, it’s actually become much harder to function because although you get more sleep and are generally happier, your child has this annoying thing called free-will and they sleep MUCH less during the day. It’s hard to get anything done at night after they go to bed either because, wine.